Posts Tagged ‘world cup’

It doesn’t take much for our American cousins to find something to get overly emotional about. Here we see one of the USA’s most promising players accepting an Oscar after.. what? Sorry. Here we see one of the USA’s fully grown men in a post match conference. Somehow he manages to take his emotions in a clenched first, bring them to the press and release them in a flurry of raw cannon fodder for the English sarcasm.

In any English equivalent you’d be hard pressed to see a player with any more to give than a few grunts about the manager and the luck on the day. Even with the most particular of questions patrons of the footballing world tend to avoid giving too much away: about tactics, about their own character. Here’s your chance to talk to the world about your achievement as a team, as a unit and as a nation but no. He would much prefer to explain just how he has been affected personally. This great patriot has managed to wrestle with the beautiful game until it sits nicely beside him as an example of proof to him of “good in the world”. This is the same tournament in which Anelka approached Domenech with a less-than-polite remark about his mother and got sent home.

The the only crying that tends to happen on the correct side of the footballing pond is the average fan behind his television set when Mr Green unseats himself from the #1 spot. This is not to say that crying is an unhealthy way for a human being to act, not at all.

My point here is that our Western equivalents have much to give by way of sap. It seems even something as emotion-free as a van can bring an American woman to re-evaluate herself as a human being. In this story we follow the journey of an American mother and her battle with her identity as forced by her motor.

“That van is not who you are,” he said. “It’s where you are.”

I thought about what he said all night. Then I thought again of my sister, who is back in a sporty car now that her kids are older. Maybe her minivan wasn’t a sign that she had lost “it”; perhaps it was a sign that she had gained something else — a young family.

It seems that, as per my earlier example, our two nations are at loggerheads when it comes to deciding which opportunities are worthy of an emotional outcry. This story begins as a prime example of a time to hire a van. She struggles with the concept of becoming “mom” (despite having had children) and worries at the state of her family as it migrates to a larger vehicle. I’d be the first in line to explain van rental to her so that she might spend a bit of time changing her lifestyle in a synchronized manner.

“Here” I’d say. “Take the van – drive around until you’ve managed to devise your acceptance speech, and when the “look I had seen on my sister’s face years ago” comes back you’ll be in good stead to wow the press with a bubbling reply of both happiness and foreboding.” *facepalm*

It’s okay though – she finds her way around it all. After a rousing speech from her better half she manages to find herself as a person, as a mom, and as a woman. The next morning.

“Then I put my window down and let the breeze blow through my hair.”

?? AMERRRRRICA… ??

I just can’t tell any more. Do they do it on purpose for our enjoyment?! Is is all a stitch up? Are we to blame?!

The most exciting game of the World Cup is currently under way and I feel compelled to write about it. After 60 minutes of play we’ve seen some of the biggest names of the international stage prove their worth, and one or two seem to have black marked themselves voluntarily. Prove yourselfves now lads it could be your last chance.

The opening goal was an absolutely Brazillian pass from Melo that scythed open the Dutch defense and allowed Robinho to slot a simple finish past Stekelenburg. 1 – 0 and the Dutch begin to make attacking moves. It seems as though this Brazillian defence has been told to slash Robben down every time he gets near the ball. Michelm Bastos going through him this time. The Brazillians are blasting Arjen with verbal abuse every time they foul him. Blinkers off, lads.

Schneider proceeded to cross the ball and claim a goal from Filipe Melo’s head. Although accidental he’s been absolutely key in both goals so far. 1 – 1. Sneijder looks chuffed.

Corner to Holland and as the cross comes in work-a-day Dirk Kuyt nods the ball onwards (accidentally, knowing Kuyt) to Sneijder who heads home. 2 – 1 in the 68th minute and its all to play for. Brazil look shaken.

Melo gets himself sent off. If anyone you’d say that Wesley. S would be the star of the show, but you cant take away from Melo that he’s gotten enough attention from officials and fans alike. Stamping on Robben’s
calves in a vain attempt to get the ball sees a straight red. It clearly is deserving of a red, but Robben uses the classic response by rolling around and asking for the blues and twos of an ambulance van. Hire an agent, Robben – you could make it on broadway!


Van Persie in on the shot, but he’s let it get away from him. Sneijder manages to snap the shot away. Saved.

Van Persie off for Huntelaar. 5 minutes on the clock.

Drik Kuyt in! He’s run the whole pitch and he’s suddenly on the edge of the box. One defender on his heels! Oh he’s given up.. lost possession.

Dani Alves with the weight of the world on his shoulders. A freekick just outside the Netherlands box. So many HUGE stars on this yellow/blue squad, and it’s Alves to take. Oh he’s kicked it really hard at the wall. Suprise.

Freekick just inside the Brazillian half 91 mins 45 seconds. All hands on deck for the final push. Nothing.

In their very last gasp of the game Alves sends the ball over the top to Lucio, keeper claims. Final minute.

A quick dispatch from the keeper and the ball drops to Huntelaar! No Brazillian defense to speak of! He’s cut it back to Robben! NO! What?!?!!!! Why not just hit it at the goal?! The Brazillians did well to come back and clear their lines, but that should’ve been 3 – 1. Maybe Huntelaar can be excused for not being warmed up yet, but that was a shocker.

7 seconds on the clock. Throw in to Robinho who tries to jink. Whistle blows! Holland win!

Final say from the commentary team: “Brazil’s next world cup game will be in Brazil. 4 years from now. “Kaka goes into the list with all the other players who didn’t even come close to performing well, let alone in top gear.

Could be looking to get the organisers to arrange van rental for the amount of blubbering fans that now fill the stadium. I’d sympathise if we hadn’t been so readily ejected in the previous round. The Germans are going to win again, aren’t they?

Oh World Cup, you do treat us poorly. :(