Apologies for the gap, I’ve been on the continent. Not drinking tea.
Arriving in sunny Spain last weekend I was greeted with milk that tasted like cereal-run off (you know the kind: last man standing in the bowl after a hearty helping of Sugar Puffs), no way of getting to BBC Radio 5-live (without pouring Euro’s into the web cafés (decided against taking the laptop abroad)), and tea that should be ashamed of calling itself a beverage.
Each time I ordered a cuppa I was confronted with the “¿con leche?” option, I attempted to use my fragmented Spanish in as many different ways as I could devise. Sadly, it was only with the help of a fluent travelling buddy that I managed to acquire a tea bag, some hot water, and a seperate helping of milk (all other times I was presented with a “foamed milk” mug imagine a tea made in the same way as a cappucino). It was only then that I realised it wasn’t the astranged way the Spanish made their tea that made it taste like Tony the Tiger had joined forces with the Lurpak geezer (remember him?!) to build a 21st century chalk and cheese, it’s just the way it is en Espana. The tea tastes like pain.
On the plus side, we did manage to arrange some car rental and get ourselves to a few of our friends around the coast. That was almost as challenging as the tea in the first instant, until I realised that anyone with a mildly believable Spanish accent is assumed to be leaving the country. Car hire Spain was the key phrase.
I arrived home late last night having seen nothing more than the headlines and updates on my phone. I reluctantly began to watch the games I’d recorded to catch up with the football. What a miserable week for us.
Benfica pipped us too the post (despite a BANGER from Agger (a whirling backheel into the bottom corner to convert his first this season)) with 2 soft-as-hell penalties. Benfica seemed to have been given “specialist instructions” as Torres was fouled without discretion for the entire game. One particular altercation saw Babel sent off just shy of the 30 minute mark for a pat or two on the face of Luisão after he whipped El Nino to the deck. That just about summed up the rest of the evening.
We had a goal disallowed for Kuyt being offside without ANY involvement in play, Insua was carded for literally brushing arms with Aimar (he’ll miss the next game), the first penalty was awarded during a freekick that shouldn’t have been given, Torres and Kuyt swapped roles as Dirk slid a beauty of a through ball to Fernando who managed to spill a 1 on 1 opportunity wide and the second penalty was given for reasons I still don’t understand.. 2 – 1 to Benfica, the return leg at Anfield. Absolute JOKE of a football match.
If you’ve any sense of fair-game or PLAYING A GAME OF FOOTBALL, the highlights will sicken you.
I should’ve stayed in Spain. Scratch that, actually. There’s still hope: and I’ve got my PG tips back!
(I’ll talk about the Birmingham game later).