Shotgunbagsy

Instructions given in the first leg of the Benfica – Liverpool match up were seemingly repeated last night as Torres took knock after knock: he looked apprehensive following the first altercation, and it looked daunting from the first 5 minutes. We started well and opened the scoring with an “offside” corner shout from our man Mr Lino that was swiftly reversed by the referee (what is it with officials of Pool games?). The SHOCKING commentary team for Channel 5 debated the solidity of the decision until they were assured that being offside for a corner is impossible.  Fools.

Watching the game on Channel 5 I realised I’d have been better off just getting updates on my mobile broadband as commentator Dave Woods insists on missing the football that’s being played. With an unnecessary “ooo that was close” here, and a “looks like Lucas has taken a knock” followed by a meaty ramble about running off aches and pains without even the HINT that he’s noticed Lucas has taken one straight in the balls. Comedy gold missed by a floundering buffoon.

It was Kuyt that got the nod to put us one up, followed by what was hailed “the making of Lucas” as he peeled off in a timely fashion to receive a perfectly weighted pass from Stee and squeezed the ball under the arm of diving Julio Cesar* before passing the ball into the net. It looked pretty good, but it wasn’t the clinical move everyone with a microphone claimed it to be from the 45 minute mark onwards.

And then came the kid.

Around the 58th minute Liverpool produced a superb run of play starting with Benayoun (as was the case for the build up to Lucas’ goal) that ended with a smashing cross from Kuyt which fell neatly to the instep of FERNANDO TORRES who was looking all but spent in the first half. 3 – 0 up at this point, and my money was on Rafa pulling the plug on El Nino. What do I know?

Benayoun rushed to the referee with his palms clasped after a poorly timed sliding challenge just outside the 18 yard box. His relief at realising the ref was awarding a free-kick instead of a penalty was short lived as Cardozo (the executioner from the last leg and Portuguese Liga’s 2nd top goal scorer) hit the dead-ball low and hard, through the wall (and Stevie G’s legs) and past Reina. 3 – 1. If Benfica scored at this point they’d have been the ones to progress to the Semi finals.

Then up popped the chosen one once more. A loose ball dropped to Gerrard, who tipped it back to Mascherano, and with a sumptuously weighted through ball Torres was on the run. One on one with the keeper, he took one touch inside, waited for the very last moment, and chipped the keeper with all the skill and concentration of the best in the world. 4 – 1 to Liverpool, with the Kop alive in a haze of red and white scarves, beaming smiles and one particular chant about one particular man.

Fernando Torres – Liverpool number nine. Highlight reel.

There are murky clouds on the horizon for Nando though as Atletico hold out for a 0 – 0 draw at home against Valencia ensuring them a place in the Semi Finals on away goals (2 – 2 in the previous leg). That means we’re facing our European brothers for our only shot at silverware this season: the only club Torres has ever acclaimed his allegiance for: the team he followed since his Grandad inspired him as a young boy: the team he captained: the team he was only happy to leave for the reds.

Atheletico Madrid is the only European football shirt I own/have ever owned: they’re a fantastic side IMHO. Win or lose, I know for a fact that he’s going to get a warm welcome, and the atmosphere will be frenetic and as soon as he sees Aguero doing what he does best, I’m sure he’ll turn up the heat. The RojiBlancos are up next, and I could think of no better fixture. It’s well known that Liverpool is built of Spaniards, so I guess van hire will be off the cards for them! Best of luck on the right/wrong side of the road, G!

Bobby Zamora gave Capello another reason to book him a seat on the plane by scoring inside the first 25 seconds against Wolfsburg as the only goal of the game. His first touch was a whirling instep as he twisted to face goal, his second was a fatal strike. Hero. Fulham go through 3 – 1 on aggregate.

Hamburg got through.. aswell.

So the Europa’s looking a little something like this. The most important factor of this is that we’ll get a shot at the Champions League next year if we win the Europa. Micky Mouse trophy, sure: but it’ll get us in the back door.

In other news it seems Torres is going to be ready for the weekend’s football, and Pepe’s going to be ready for the next SIX YEARS after renewing his contract sim!

When you walk!

*Obviously – this was not THE Julio Cesar. There are many.