Shotgunbagsy

Starsky and Hutch, Fame, Alice in Wonderland. We do love our remakes, don’t we? Sometimes they’re a hit, sure.. othertimes they’re.. well.. either of the 3 film names I’ve just mentioned. It seems that it’s okay for Hollywood producers to take an old film, remove everything we loved from it in the first place and sell it off for far more than it originally made.

The A-Team, for example, if you like cigars, vans.. blowing stuff up and saying cheesey things. It was well recieved back in the day,but that’s not what we’re digging anymore, Mr California. This guy is one of many who just cannot untangle the modern version from the old concept.. is it good? I don’t think so, but if I’m honest.. I have absolutely no idea. Is it even a film? Again.. I have no idea. You’d have just as much luck finding a decent van hire service, a couple of wannabe film-stars and another Hollywood film producer.. It may not make a similar amount of money, but you’d end up with a film that was of just a high calibre. Job done. I say this from a fairly cynical viewpoint, and it’s fair to say that the industry has managed to stumble into an alternative reality.

According to this report the new tactic is to find a suitably shoddy film and spitshine it:

They include The Shadow, Red Sonja, The Black Hole, Overboard, Dune, Real Genius, and Red Dawn.

In vain hopes of dragging these horrors from the mire “Hollywood” has decided the best port of call is to cast superstars in the main roles. It’s worth me pointing out at ths point that I have absolutely no taste for celebrity gossip (which may skew my take on this ever-so-slightly), but I really don’t see how this is going to make box office flops succesful.. not in the conventional sense at least. I’d be tempted to pay a little in order to watch some of the better known names on our telly-boxes make complete fools of themselves as they desperately cling to a sinking ship. Cue Jennifer Aniston and Hugh Grant in a remake of Lost Horizon. Just me? Oh wait..

A Modern version of the 1994 film starring Alec Baldwin, The Shadow, is set to be remade by Sam Raimi while a new version of Red Sonja, a 1985 movie which grossed only $6.9m, is set to star Megan Fox.

Overboard’s remake will include Jennifer Lopez while David Lynch’s 1984 space odyssey which made $29.7m but cost $40m is to be taken on by the director of From Paris With Love, Pierre Morel.

Buckle up then, folks. We’re in for a treat.

/sarcasm